Monday, July 18, 2016

In Control, or Not

I want to thank all of you readers who took the time to leave kind, thoughtful, generous comments on my last postThank you!  I appreciate your thoughts and prayers more than you know.  (I haven't responded to your comments yet but I will, soon.)

My husband's surgery went well today.  They let me visit for only a few minutes while he was recovering in intensive care.  He had at least half a dozen tubes including a breathing tube, several IVs, and a few other tubes coming from/going into places that aren't natural openings.  Ugh.

The surgeon quipped that this was a good time to say anything I wanted to my husband because he couldn’t talk back.  And the nurse chimed in, "And he won't remember anything you say, either."  A little levity after a long, serious, grueling day.

Knowing the surgery could last from four to eight hours, I waited at home till four hours had passed, then spent the next few hours in the waiting room at the hospital.  After seeing my husband I returned home.  While at home I sewed and did a few chores.

liberated log cabin quilt blocks

As I was sewing these liberated log cabin blocks I was thinking, "I can't do this out-of-control block-making.  I need more structure.  I need to be in control."   (It feels like I'm living a life out of control at the moment.)  While I sewed I continued to think about this and it eventually occurred to me that with blocks like this I am in control.  I'm the one who's controlling the size of the logs, the size of the blocks, the colors, the color placement, everything about these blocks.  I think it feels out of control because only a few decisions were made before cutting and sewing.

When I sew a block from a specific pattern with squares or triangles cut to specific sizes, I'm in control, then, too.  It happens before I cut anything, while I cut, and while I carefully sew -- all for accuracy to that specific pattern.

With liberated blocks the control happens throughout the whole process of making the blocks but in a different way.  I will have chosen my fabrics (and therefore colors) and the pattern, but I may not have chosen the exact sizes of each piece of a block.  The blocks may be put together in a way that looks less accurate than a traditional quilt block.  But all of those choices are in my control and will determine how the finished blocks look.

Liberated quilting may look more playful, less structured, and less controlled than traditional blocks but I believe the creator must have as much or possibly more control than with traditional blocks.

I wish life were as easy to control as quilt blocks.  My life is certainly beyond my ability to control it at the moment.  I know He is and was always in control, but when things were going smoothly, I had the impression of having some control over my life.  Now, my control extends only as far as my own actions and thoughts. 

Even so, isn't life grand?!  And how wonderful that we get to play with fabric and make quilts.

I hope you're having a good day today.

--Nancy.
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20 comments:

  1. Life is grand indeed Nancy, and I'm so happy to hear your husband's surgery went well! Praying that he will continue to recover quickly and your lives returned to normal :*)

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    1. Thank you, Teresa. I'm looking forward to normal again, too, though it never seems to go back the normal I knew but moves on to a different normal. LOL.

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  2. I'm so glad to hear that the surgery went well yesterday!
    I am a "control freak"...but as a Christian, I realize that I am never really in control. It's a hard thing to admit. But, thankfully, we know the One who is!!!

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    1. Thank you, Loretta. Yes, you are exactly right: we know the One who is in control and if we rely on Him, it all works out perfectly (even though it may not be what we had in mind).

      Thanks for leaving a comment. I appreciate it.

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  3. Such a good report to know the surgery went well. Will be praying for a smooth recovery for hubby and strength for you to hold up well through the challenges--even though you are not in control. : )
    Great insights in this post, Nancy.

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    1. Thanks, Janet. We appreciate the prayers. Now if only I could truly control my husband's diet....

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  4. So happy to hear he is doing well. It is tough and hanging out in hospitals is not fun. How lucky to have each other through thick and thin.

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    1. Thank you, Jocelyn. Hospitals aren't much fun, nor comfortable, either, but then I guess they weren't intended for that purpose. The nurses and PSAs have been great, though, so it's better than it could have been.

      Thanks for visiting and leaving a comment. I appreciate it.

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  5. I'm so very glad to hear that your hubby's surgery was successful and went well. I'll be praying that he'll have a full and easy recovery.

    We sure like to think that we're in control ... nothing like a health crisis to remind us that we definitely are not! Even so, life IS grand, isn't it!

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    1. Thank you, Kathy. I appreciate your prayers for my husband's recovery. I see improvement but it seems slow. (But then he did have major surgery so I shouldn't expect a short recovery.)

      It seems like health challenges, or even accidents, are the strongest reminders (to me, at least) of Who is in control.

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  6. Such good news that he has made it through the surgery part of the process. I loved seeing the pretty log cabin blocks in those low key tones, but more than that I enjoyed reading your many musings on life. Continued prayers for you both.

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    1. Yes, great news, Vic. Thanks for your kind comments about my quilt and for your prayers for both my husband and me. We appreciate them.

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  7. Being with someone recovering from surgery is a very stressful thing. Thank goodness for quality medical care in this day and age. Very glad you're finding time to sew and regenerate while waiting for your husband to come home. Dolly and I would like to wish him a very speedy recovery.

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    1. Thanks so much for yours and Dolly's good wishes for my husband's recovery, Gypsy Quilter. We hope it will be speedy, too. I thought it was stressful while he was at the hospital but maybe having him at home is a little more stressful, if only because there's so much to attend to as far as doctor's orders. Little by little he'll improve.

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  8. Thank you for keeping us informed re. your husband's surgery and recovery. So glad he has come through the operation. Hope he can cope with a steady recovery period (rather than a rapid one) and that you can deal with being chief carer once he is home ☺Throughout the NT we are urged to be self-controlled (indeed, self-control Paul tells us is a gift of the Spirit). I suppose we should look to use that gift in our reactions to circumstances whilst trusting that God is in control of the situation?

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    1. I think my husband's recovery will be somewhat slow but I hope it will be steady. He's home now and we're adjusting to the changes required -- medication, diet, limitations, etc.

      I think self-control/self-discipline is one of the greatest challenges we face in mortality. Every aspect of life seems to present us with opportunities to gain or improve it -- attitude, diet, exercise, personal interactions, how we spend our time, what we think.... And as you suggest, it's especially important in the face of situations that could be very trying, while at the same time realizing there is One in control of all.

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  9. Continued prayers for both your husband and you as he recuperates. May the road be smooth and steady and filled with His grace and blessings to hep you along the way. You are right - there are so many things in life that are out of our control - thankfully we can lean on a God who is always in control. I hope you'll make time to stitch a bit each day as time allows and that it is a bright spot for you. Being a caregiver is hard. Thinking of you!

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    1. Thank you so much for your prayers and encouragement, Karin. He's making progress but I can see already that it's not going to be speedy. I try to get in some sewing every day, but unfortunately I don't have any hand work to do at the moment. I need to get a back ready so I can layer and baste, then sit with my husband to watch a movie or just visit. I have a hard time "doing nothing."

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  10. My mom went through a yriple bypass and a valve replacement in last October. This was after no history of heart disease or high blood pressure and general good health. It was scary, she worked very hard during Her recuperative period and she is feeling wonderful now. Recovery was difficult. If you want to hear more or get input, email me. I wish you both all the best and yes, we are not really the ones controlling life, are we? Take care.

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    1. Gosh, Bernie, your mom must have been shocked to have heart problems so suddenly. That's great that she's doing so well now. Thanks for visiting and leaving a comment.

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I appreciate your comments and look forward to reading what you have to say. Thanks for stopping by.

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