The weekend before Christmas my husband rallied and one night he walked to the kitchen to sit at dinner with us for one of his favorite meals, meatloaf and baked potatoes. But that same night, the Monday-to-Tuesday-morning before Christmas, he had a stroke. He died three days later, on the Friday after Christmas.Even though we knew the outcome of his situation, I didn't know when the final outcome would happen. It was strange to wake up one morning a wife and go to bed that night a widow.
Emily Dickinson's poem, "The Bustle in a House," always comes to mind when someone I know dies.
The Bustle in a House
The Morning after Death
Is solemnest of industries
Enacted upon Earth –
The Sweeping up the Heart
And putting Love away
We shall not want to use again
Until Eternity –
My life looks so different now and I'm finding it hard to be interested in much of anything. I know that will pass and life will move on to a new and different normal, eventually. But for now, I'm adjusting to the changes in my life.
I intend to visit your blogs and leave comments, but it will take me a number of days. I am far, far behind.
I am determined to see the bright side of things, laugh a little more, enjoy others more, and to be cheerful.
Happy New Year to you and yours!
-Nancy.
I'm so sorry, Nancy. Huge hugs to you♥
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry for your loss. Take all the time you need.
ReplyDeleteHugs!
ReplyDeleteMy sincere condolences, Nancy--what a shock!! I hope that your fond memories will help to warm your broken heart...
ReplyDeleteTake care...hugs, Julierose
Please try and be with people. Never say no to an invitation. Your friends and family will be a great help to you. Please accept my sincere sympathy.
ReplyDeleteSharon M
Dear Nancy, I am so sorry for your loss. May the special memories you hold in your heart give you strength during this difficult time. Pls email me any time if you need a friend to virtually hold your hand, I am here for you.
ReplyDeleteI hope the memories you made together over the years will bring you solace in the coming days and weeks. You and your family are in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteDeath is so harsh. And it is so irreversible. There are no phone calls from the other side and no texting. It was about six weeks after our son died before I started to feel any joy. I was calm and could function. I could laugh at funny things. We had a foreign exchange student living with us so I had to keep going. In retrospect, I am so glad we had this girl with us. She really gave me purpose. I was busy with lots of volunteer work with children, too, at that time. I was so happy to be with them! But joy was so elusive for those weeks.
ReplyDeleteI truly feel so you! I send my deepest feelings of empathy for you. Just keep going. Keep listening to those adorable kids playing on those marimbas. Treat yourself to your favorite foods. Don't ever listen to anyone else's timeline of grief. This is your time to put yourself back together. It is winter. If you need to sleep an extra four hours a day, just do it! Listen to your body. Join a group of other grievers if you can. Find what brings you joy even if it is something you used to think was selfish. Creating is from divine source and will help heal you. Again, I send you prayers for your healing. God will open another door, but it is Hell in the hallway!
Oh, Nancy, I am very sorry for the changes and challenges you face. You have been in my prayers and will continue to be.
ReplyDelete